Into the Desert 2018
carol p. vaccariello,
dmin., lpc
storyteller
Skylar had his pure white dog along. A significant percentage of Artic Wolf in her. Reassured knowing Luna was nearby. She opted to sleep outside her man-friend’s tent in the pouring rain. I pondered how each of us makes that choice: to sleep out in the cold or to snuggle up where all is secure and comfortable. Tonight, I am in a tent, however, I feel very much out in the cold.
Black night. Ventured to the latrine. Hillside slippery mud-sand caved in with every step. Saturated ground. Rivulets of streaming water. Climbed the nearly impossible hillside. Returning to my tent, a test of balance. Sandals hopelessly soaked. Gritty sand enveloped my feet. Covered in “mud-sand” I went to the hot pool building. Washed my feet and legs. Saved a first use sleeping bag from total demise.
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Having this run at pitching the tent, flattening the air mattress, struggling to get my sleeping bag back in its carrying sack, collapsing the tent, packing the truck and a quick dip in the hot pools, we were looking for the one place in town that served meals.
Inside, we ordered warm breakfasts to energize for today’s tasks. Suddenly, lights and power went out. Hot breakfast a vanished dream. Yogurt and granola fill the hunger. We drove into Death Valley seeking the spot, waiting for us. The place Earth wanted to hold us in her caring arms.
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Skylar found the area where he held a prior quest. We saw evidence of wood left behind for another group. It was still there.
Mutual decision. Energy didn’t feel right. Opted to drive further back into the huge mountain framed canyon.
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Stepping out of the truck into a Silence so profound and thick that I felt its “weight”. I was not thinking. I could only feel. I felt like I was walking through sticky, stretchy molasses of dense silence. The Silence was like a living thing. Its weight pulled at me until I laid on the ground giving in to Earth’s mighty tug. I surrendered. The ground supported my usually strong body which in that moment felt frail and unsubstantial. I was smaller than I have ever been. I opened my eyes to the mountainous giants surrounding me, calling my name with deep heavy silent sighs. Twenty feet from me, in front of the truck, Skylar laid on the ground, melting into Earth.
Standing and walking we felt the pull of Earth inviting us to this space. We both knew this was the spot that would be most helpful and healing for those who would be joining us and for ourselves.
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At the turn of the Century, I lived in El Paso, Texas. El Paso is twin/border city to Juarez, Mexico. It is desert climate, but nothing like what I experienced in Death Valley. El Paso is a desert filled with houses and businesses, it doesn’t feel like a desert. It is very hot. It is also noisy. The common clatter of voices and business. Sounds of cars, busses and trucks. Voices laced with strange accents. A mixture of Spanish and English, Tex-Mex. Most often I couldn’t decipher the strange sounding words. I would listen carefully hoping to catch a word I might know. It was a desert city. Traffic, congestion, confusion, crowds. I couldn’t see the horizon for the clutter of houses and buildings. A place of silence stolen.
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Last week there were three young women signed on for this adventure. The weather forecast in addition to other “life-stuff” prevented each of them from making the journey. The forecast was daunting. Nineteen degrees Fahrenheit one night and the promise of high winds. When I learned that I was the only woman journeying with the group, I talked with Skylar. He is a veteran at this. Did he think it wise for me to persist in coming along with the weather that was promised? He reassured me. I knew this was something I really did want to do. It was a huge ‘bucket list’ item. I longed to see the star-studded night sky in total darkness, free from light pollution with the advantage of a dark moon.
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We totaled five. Met up in Tecopa at the town Bistro next to the only motel in town where the others slept last evening. There were natural hot springs just outside their doors. At the small desert town café, power restored, we enjoyed a meal before beginning our trek to the desert.
Skylar and I led the caravan to the spot that called to us yesterday. We felt the energies of a couple of locations. Determined that this was just the right place. We were to guide and support. Each one beginning a journey into depths of self. Each, here for a unique reason. All of us, here to begin an incredible journey. All of us, survivors of life’s unexpected. Good thing! Cause this was a journey into the unexpected.
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I have working relationships with several Spirit Entities. The most recent of them is the Spirit of Raven. I perceived a Divine Feminine spirit making itself known to me, I asked her, “Give me an image, a way to picture you.” I tend to experience through the channel of sight. Immediately, I saw a Black Raven and then she morphed out of vision and I saw a White Raven. This kept happening for a minute or so. Back and forth, Black and White, Black and White. I was excited by this image. Google supported my excitement by teaching me about Raven. I thought White Ravens had pink eyes. I learned that there is actually a distinct species of White Raven with black eyes, that is not an albino of the Black Raven. I was thrilled to learn this. I was composing a song about Raven. Description is everything.
Next morning, I approached my sacred space. She showed herself again. This time Raven sat on my shoulders. Black on the left and White on the right. As a result of my research, I took a closer look at White Raven’s eyes. They are black. She shows herself every morning. More often I see her Black form. So sleek and powerful.
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