Morning in Alfaro. Camino stirs thoughts and provides the time to ponder them.
Part one:
I ate breakfast and went to my room to attempt calling Jessie, since I had a phone available to make international calls.
It was about 9:00 am and I knew it would be 2 or 3 in the morning at home. But I thought that it was more important to make the call and hear Jessie’s voice and let her hear mine.
Good call. It went through and I was right. She was excited and surprised to hear my voice. We talked for about 15 minutes, maybe more.
It is always a blessing to be a blessing and to receive a blessing. To hear the joy and excitement in her voice. To let her know she is being thought about every day. To know that a Mother’s love can be found in ways and in persons that are not one’s birth mother. We all need to know and feel and experience Mother Love no matter how old we are.
An important aspect of this Camino is to release my Mom so that I can have her. I have never dreamt of my Mom. During my first week in Spain, I dreamt of Mom and Dad twice. Significant and important to be in right relationship with my Ancestors.
As a ‘Grandmother’ I miss my Mother’s love and acceptance of who I am. I still long for her to be present when I am doing something significant in my life. I want her with me as I always have. Truth is, I miss her and love her in very deep ways. In this, I am childlike.
I am so fortunate to have profound memories of our lives together. Dumbo ears, ski jump nose, pastel clothes that always match, classy dresser, aristocratic taste, a flirt with the young men, whimsical smile, oxygen and wheel chair, our final cruise, gone in an instant, buried with her car, dressed her one last time.
My best friend, dinner partner, wine drinking buddy. Most even tempered peacekeeper, family glue, open-hearted, generous, beautiful smile.
I miss you.
**********
Part Two:
This morning before I leave Alfaro, I want to see if the Cathedral of San Miguel is opened. I checked out of my room, with backpack in tow, head toward the Cathedral that was locked last evening. I crossed the street and made the yield to the right when a woman approached like we were old friends. With a big warm energetic smile she tilted her head to one side. Talking rapidly in Spanish and then pulling a brochure out of her purse, it dawned! She was one of the ladies that herded me to Our Lady of Burgos last evening.
She must have been waiting for me to appear from my Hotel. Last night they asked if I was staying at the Albergue and I explained that I was at the Hotel Palacio. The brochure she produced from her purse is from San Miguel.
I get it. She was waiting for me. She is my self-appointed tour guide for the morning.
She is so pleasant, excited and proud to be showing me something that is important and essential for her life.
I ask her name and she offers a nick name that is a shortened version of her name, Maria Dolorosa. I love the way her name rolls off my tongue. She takes me to each of the side altars in San Miguel. She steps into each of the altar coves in order to trigger the lights in each separate space.
When we get to the Baptistry she explains that this is where she was baptized.
I ceremoniously take her picture next to the Baptismal Font. She beams. She is part of the history of this sacred place. It is part of her sacred story. She is grounded and rooted in this space.
I wonder what it takes to know one’s sacred story. Do I take the time to re-member the parts, the chapters of my own story. What difference does it make in my life to know where and how and in whom I am grounded. It may very well be an incredibly important missing piece of my story and many others.
Have I been so caught up in who I believe I am called to be that I have missed who I am? How are those two ideas similar or different?
Is this the kind of thinking that Sts. Francis and Ignatius plowed through during their conversion experiences?
Earlier in the Camino I realized that it is past time to give up my struggle. I created it. It no longer serves. Let it go.
Perhaps the next step, after letting go of the struggle by which I have defined myself, is to examine my grounding. Where and how am I connected to sacred space? What are my sacred connections? How do I nurture holy relationships? What more or what different do I need to look at for my own sacredness to manifest for personal enrichment and for others and for all creation?
I ask these questions of myself because I feel helpless in light of a world being destroyed by greed.
It occurs to me that if each awakened being asks these questions we might find a way to come together in a common sacred power.
Something clicks. Mother Teresa has said it so simply,
“Not all of us can do great things but we can do small things with great love.”
Don’t wait for the great things. Waiting for the great things, sounds like a misuse of my power.
Do the small things and remember the GREAT LOVE!
Now that’s POWER.
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