(09/16/15)
I have learned that the reason I am having trouble carrying my backpack is that it simply doesn´t fit my body. I tried on one of the other pilgrim´s pack and discovered that men and women´s packs are actually shaped differently and the one I am using creates too much weight for me because of the way it fits me.
I spent yesterday walking all over Burgos from store to store in the attempt to find a different back pack and then send this one home. I was crossing a street in an area that I did not know yet and was searching for yet another store. An older womam - probably my age, caught my eye as I came across the street. If we could have communicated I would have made friendly conversation - but I know that is impossible so I kept moving on with my backpack on my back. I stopped a young woman storekeeper who was sweeping the street walk in front of her store to ask for directions. She began to speak quickly and I was having trouble getting the gist of the directions. By this time the older woman caught up and the two of them had a bit of a conversation. I was feeling a bit overlooked and then humbled when I realized that I was the subject of their conversation. The older woman reached for my hand, the younger woman said to me, ¨She will take you.¨ I wept. She frequently reached for my hand or arm and guided me like a child across streets and down unknown paths until she stood me directly in front of the door and nudged me inside. My heart was overflowing with gratitude. It didn´t even matter that there was nothing at this store either. What matter was the love that was literally taking me by the hand and guiding me through a maze of unknowns.
Something else that has truly been running through my mind. I have become aware of how comfortable I can become with a situation as I come to know and trust it. It doesn´t even matter if I am in a poor place, a difficult surrounding. Because I know it and it is familiar I find that I am less wanting to separate myself from it. This has given me a new sensitivity to those who find comfort in what they have come to know as their faith and then find it so frightening to think of anything in a way that is not comfortable even if it is freeing and redeeming. I met a pilgrim yesterday and we spent a lot of time together and I realized that we were supposed to meet. I helped her with some spiritual concepts that she hadn´t considered before. What I noticed was that she was hungry, maybe even starved for what we talked about. She would be making some serious shifts and tears filled her eyes on several occasions. Tears are good. They clense and while blurring our vision, open the paths of new understanding - new ways of seeing.
I think my time on this computer at the Library is up. So long for now. Continue to pray for all of us in the Wind of the Spirit as we continue the journey wherever it leads.
Pilgrim Carol
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