At a Deeper Level - Camino of Ignatius 2018

Montserrat's Magic Stones - photo by Amaroq Explorers

This morning I was surprised by a pigeon flying to my window sill, seeing me and changing her mind.  There are no screens and I wonder if one will eventually fly in???  I resisted the thought to encourage her with bread crumbs.  The Monks might not invite me back. Too warm to keep the windows closed.   

Laudes, morning  Prayer was good.  I am finally relaxing into the routine and was able to follow the flow of the prayer this morning.  Language deficiency is debilitating. 

This is routine reporting.  What I really want to share is how I am experiencing at a deeper level.  

It is difficult for the part of me that longs for inclusion to be sitting here without the language ability to speak, participate or understand what is happening around me.  This is about every level of being here. 

At Mass I was able to follow more closely.  I got that we were celebrating the Feast of the Holy Cross. my senses delighted on the bright red vestments and the solemnity and aroma of the incensing of the main altar and all the people.  

Here’s the deeper side of this entry.  At Mass, or any prayer, I sit in a huge Basilica watching a large group of men doing their thing. Here’s the rub for me; I want to be here. I know that I have been here many times before, however, as an insider, not a spectator. 

Sometimes I wonder if this lifetime is to learn the lessons that come with exclusion and the fight to be part of what I feel called to, of what I love?

Then I struggle with that because there is so much I no longer can swallow about the childhood teachings that I was spoon fed with good intentions and love. A really difficult gig.   Feels like the rest of my life literally will be about sorting this out.  

I ask myself how I can imagine it different, inclusive, something uplifting and affirming for everyone.   I know I want the Beloved Community NOW!  Why not?  Don’t you?  

I ask myself, “How can I live my life differently to help make this happen?

If we think it is impossible it will be. We create our reality by what we dream and know in our hearts IS possible.  

A valued friend on FB expressed his envy at my go at a second Camino.  I suggested we turn the energy of envy into a group experience of Camino in a small group venture.  It is easier done together.  Let’s do it.  Not just talk about it.  We can do it in EUROPE or USA.  There are wonderful paths to explore and discover what we are being called to all over the planet.  This isn’t new.  We need to rediscover the blessing or re-connection with our marvelous planet Earth. 

Time to take a breath.  Whew!

Come on.  Join me. It might not be easy.  It isn’t easy for me.  It is amazingly difficult and wondrous.  Amen!

Invite me to come and share experience and stories firsthand. I would love to come visit you/ your group and simply answer your questions from what I experience combined with your experience. A good place to start a conversation that has the potential to make a difference, to create something new.  

I think about the power of those who have gone before us and made an impact by following the challenge of their hearts.