This morning I awakened before my alarm which was set for 5:20. I heard a noise that created a bit of concern for me. What was that distinctive crinkling of plastic or stiff cellophane paper? I got up and walked toward the sound. Following it to a bag of peanuts in the shell that I share with the birds, especially the Blue Jays. I looked down to see a tiny field mouse, very busy chewing her way through the heavy packaging eager to sink her little but mighty teeth into one of those peanuts.
Finally, she noticed me when I asked what she thought she was doing? She looked up and didn’t move. Eye to eye we stood for a few intense moments. She looked up at me as if to say, “Can’t you see I am in the middle of a very important undertaking. I really can’t be bothered with your questions right now.” She went back to chewing and I stood watching in disbelief. Such audacity and single mindedness. This little one-inch creature, not afraid of my giant stature in the least. I marveled at how adorable she was. So tiny. Miniature paws with minute details and dexterity. So small and so big in the same instant.
Finally, I advanced, and she DIDN’T RUN, She sauntered away, as if to say, “When you stop gawking, I’ll be back to get my prize.”
I don’t know where she went from there. I couldn’t find her.
I wondered what to do about her. She was quickly becoming a “nuisance pet”. What does one do with life that is not acceptable in the house? I kept thinking about the film Ratatouille, when all the mice came for dinner and the home was overrun! No! I can’t keep her as a pet.
When I went to the Post Office, I stopped to find a means of getting her to take less interest in my family room. I didn’t want to kill her, so I opted to purchase the peppermint scented packs that were meant to keep mice away. She’s smart and resourceful, I thought, she will just find another area of the house to inhabit. With that realization, I bought two packages and hoped they would work.
This afternoon, I was working at the kitchen table, my favorite place to work. I heard another strange and unfamiliar sound. I walked slowly into the family room and toward the fireplace where the sound seemed to be generated. I heard it again. I looked into the wood bin that was nearly empty and there she was, jumping up, trying to free herself, attempting to scale the steep slick sides of the plastic container. I don’t think she had been in there very long. This was the first time I heard her.
She stopped. Looked up with those precious eyes as if to say, “Not you again. So sorry to be a nuisance.”
I gave her a fresh peanut as a farewell token and took the bin out to the back field. I gently angled it down so that she wouldn’t be crushed by the little scraps of wood that remained. I was sure to release her with her peanut.
Amazing! she didn’t scamper away. She stepped out of the bin. Stopped and looked up at me as if to say.
‘You’re putting me out in the cold?” Recall the day was rather warm with intermittent sun. I left her standing there with accusation in her eyes.
As I walked away, I thought, “How ungrateful. I have provided you your gift of life and freedom, with a free meal!” How ungrateful.
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Thinking about what happened here today, with the photo to show you the mouse with her peanut in the plastic bin just before release. I ponder the words and the way of thinking I have learned to think. Now, I wonder.
Why is it that I believe that I am the one who has the right to end life, free life?
Do I really grant the gift of life and freedom?
I know we are talking about a mouse, even a mouse is a creature with life. When does anyone have the right to take life, to alter life? Is it possible that if one cultivates this child-like sensitivity to life that there might not be immigrant children in captivity?
I remember when I worked on a convent farm where pigs and steers were slaughtered for meat. I recall the Ranch Manager asking me to leave before he put a bullet to the animal. He simply could not do it while I stood there. I was too young then and grateful now that I didn’t stay to witness the taking of that life.
With the realization of what was about to happen that morning, I became vegetarian for 25 years. However, we can’t get away from this position of taking life. Even eating vegetables is taking life. Maybe that is simply the way it is. In order to have life, one needs to take in life?
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At the beginning of the Lenten season, when I began sharing these thoughts, I promised to share reflections, not to have answers. Actually, I ask questions hoping you will respond with your own pondering and wisdom. I have so much to learn from you.
This morning I ate eggs and oatmeal. Don’t think I took a life for that meal. I eat a lot of nuts, too. Drink Almond or Soy Milk.
So much to ponder.
We humans with this huge brain capacity.
Brain capacity compared to Soul capacity?
I long for living in harmony in every way,
with the Cosmic energy that surrounds me.
You???
Wondering,
Carol
NOTE: I will be away from my Computer and WiFi for a while. Will write/post when I can.
Well wishes as you celebrate that which is important to you this April month.
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