April 7, 2019 Lent 5 Sunday- Haiku: Song of Joy: Carol

Haiku is a poetic form. The structure is 5-7-5 which means that each of the stanzas follows that form.

When you read aloud it is more meaningful to hear the rhythm of the words.

Note the first line of each stanza is five syllables, the second line is seven and the third line of each stanza is five.

This is a wonderful meditative practice.

I have recently realized that my Priestly Call, which was once my life's sole focus, is now being let go by my Soul for a larger purpose.

I believe that I will always carry the priest's archetype deep within my Being. What is different now, is that I have come to understand that being too single minded and too specific in focus, is limiting and none of us needs to be stabled in such limitations.

Yes, I am priest - and now, I let go of that because I know it in the depths of my Being and I am so much more ...and so are YOU.

Gratitude for the Universal Consciousness, in which we are all one.

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Song of Joy: Carol 

Archetypal PRIEST implodes

Leaving 'ME' alone!

When I was little

Life appeared to be so big

Now I see, so small

I yearned, to love God

I felt God’s arms surround me

The Priest said “Bless-ed”

I wanted union

Not ‘man’ enough for service

Cried myself to sleep

I found how to be

Holy Spirit stirred my soul

God’s hand touched my heart

I look at my life

and know I have gone beyond

the priest part of me

Today, ‘priest’ let go

Now more than I ever dreamed

Being who I am

My heart shutters deep

everything in me cries out

With joy to a God

Who knows more than I,

The ‘Song of Joy’ I would be

The call, that is me.

April 6, 2019 Lent 4 Saturday-Field Mouse

This morning I awakened before my alarm which was set for 5:20. I heard a noise that created a bit of concern for me. What was that distinctive crinkling of plastic or stiff cellophane paper? I got up and walked toward the sound. Following it to a bag of peanuts in the shell that I share with the birds, especially the Blue Jays. I looked down to see a tiny field mouse, very busy chewing her way through the heavy packaging eager to sink her little but mighty teeth into one of those peanuts. 

Finally, she noticed me when I asked what she thought she was doing? She looked up and didn’t move. Eye to eye we stood for a few intense moments. She looked up at me as if to say, “Can’t you see I am in the middle of a very important undertaking. I really can’t be bothered with your questions right now.” She went back to chewing and I stood watching in disbelief. Such audacity and single mindedness. This little one-inch creature, not afraid of my giant stature in the least. I marveled at how adorable she was. So tiny. Miniature paws with minute details and dexterity. So small and so big in the same instant.

Finally, I advanced, and she DIDN’T RUN, She sauntered away, as if to say, “When you stop gawking, I’ll be back to get my prize.”

I don’t know where she went from there. I couldn’t find her.

I wondered what to do about her. She was quickly becoming a “nuisance pet”. What does one do with life that is not acceptable in the house? I kept thinking about the film Ratatouille, when all the mice came for dinner and the home was overrun! No! I can’t keep her as a pet.

When I went to the Post Office, I stopped to find a means of getting her to take less interest in my family room. I didn’t want to kill her, so I opted to purchase the peppermint scented packs that were meant to keep mice away. She’s smart and resourceful, I thought, she will just find another area of the house to inhabit. With that realization, I bought two packages and hoped they would work.

This afternoon, I was working at the kitchen table, my favorite place to work. I heard another strange and unfamiliar sound. I walked slowly into the family room and toward the fireplace where the sound seemed to be generated. I heard it again. I looked into the wood bin that was nearly empty and there she was, jumping up, trying to free herself, attempting to scale the steep slick sides of the plastic container. I don’t think she had been in there very long. This was the first time I heard her.

She stopped. Looked up with those precious eyes as if to say, “Not you again. So sorry to be a nuisance.”

I gave her a fresh peanut as a farewell token and took the bin out to the back field. I gently angled it down so that she wouldn’t be crushed by the little scraps of wood that remained. I was sure to release her with her peanut.

Amazing! she didn’t scamper away. She stepped out of the bin. Stopped and looked up at me as if to say. 

‘You’re putting me out in the cold?” Recall the day was rather warm with intermittent sun. I left her standing there with accusation in her eyes.

As I walked away, I thought, “How ungrateful. I have provided you your gift of life and freedom, with a free meal!” How ungrateful.

=====

Thinking about what happened here today, with the photo to show you the mouse with her peanut in the plastic bin just before release. I ponder the words and the way of thinking I have learned to think. Now, I wonder.

Why is it that I believe that I am the one who has the right to end life, free life? 

Do I really grant the gift of life and freedom? 

I know we are talking about a mouse, even a mouse is a creature with life. When does anyone have the right to take life, to alter life? Is it possible that if one cultivates this child-like sensitivity to life that there might not be immigrant children in captivity?

I remember when I worked on a convent farm where pigs and steers were slaughtered for meat. I recall the Ranch Manager asking me to leave before he put a bullet to the animal. He simply could not do it while I stood there. I was too young then and grateful now that I didn’t stay to witness the taking of that life. 

With the realization of what was about to happen that morning, I became vegetarian for 25 years. However, we can’t get away from this position of taking life. Even eating vegetables is taking life. Maybe that is simply the way it is. In order to have life, one needs to take in life?

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At the beginning of the Lenten season, when I began sharing these thoughts, I promised to share reflections, not to have answers. Actually, I ask questions hoping you will respond with your own pondering and wisdom. I have so much to learn from you.

This morning I ate eggs and oatmeal. Don’t think I took a life for that meal. I eat a lot of nuts, too. Drink Almond or Soy Milk.

So much to ponder.

We humans with this huge brain capacity. 

Brain capacity compared to Soul capacity?

I long for living in harmony in every way, 

with the Cosmic energy that surrounds me.

You???

Wondering,

Carol

NOTE: I will be away from my Computer and WiFi for a while. Will write/post when I can. 

Well wishes as you celebrate that which is important to you this April month.

April 5, 2019 Lent 4 Friday- Plants Do Sing

For several weeks now, my special Angel Wings Begonia hasn’t shared her song with me. I have asked repeatedly and like a child who has decided to cross their arms and refuse to answer any question or give her parent any recognition that she hears them, I have been snubbed.

My guess is that you are wondering what on Earth I am talking about. Some of you know that I work with the Music of the Plants and that my plants DO SING for me.

The truth is that all pants have a vibration that is part of their being. They sing to us often, but our human ears and not able to hear the vibration that they share.

I have been working with some rather fantastic new technology that converts plant vibration into tones the human ear can hear and enjoy.

I listen to my plants daily. When I walked across Spain, I recorded plants along the way so that I could compare songs from different areas. It is all so wondrous. 

What is really remarkable about Angel Wings is that, somehow, she has figured out how to sound her vibration through the synthesizer, WITHOUT BEING electronically connected to it.

When I contacted the designers and engineers who created the device, which is a modification of a lie detector machine, they told me what I was reporting to them was impossible. Impossible or not, it is happening in my home. 

I have video recorded it happening. I can’t make it happen. I simply turn on the machine and state aloud, “I am not connecting anyone today. If one of you would like to sing, I would love to hear you.” Actually, I believe that it is only the Angel Wing Begonia who has figured out how to sing without a cable.

I know you are thinking that I must have lost it, talking to plants, expecting them to sing. For a few weeks now, even though I have invited the plants to sing without being connected by cable to the machine, the plants would only sing when attached by electronic cables.

Last evening, when I mentioned to them that I was going away for a while and would sure like to hear their song before I go, Angel Wings began to share her vibration and created a melody WITHOUT BEING CONNECTED electronically. It is as if, she chooses when she will do this. I am not a scientist, I can simply observe what the engineers and scientists tell me is impossible. I then filter my observations through my human ways of knowing. Listen for yourself. Click on the one minute video and hear Angel Wings interacting with me without being connected to a cable!!!

I marvel at the way our Universe loves to confound us with the impossible at every level of being.

+++++

When was the last time you allowed a miracle to be a miracle? 

How often have you had to find a way to dismiss the miracle and find a reason that makes logical sense, simply because your way of thinking does not make room for miracles? 

Do you allow miracles to make you uncomfortable? 

Have you asked for one recently? 

Would you believe it, if you received a miraculous answer to your prayer? or would you explain it away?

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I love to dance in the miracles of every moment of every day. We are so drenched in miracles, that we often miss them. Think about and name one miracle that has touched you today. Put your rational mind on the shelf for a short time and allow God to touch you in the depths of your Soul - cause that is where the miracles are born, in you and me. Remember, we are filled with Light of Christ, Light of Buddha, Sparks of Divinity according to the Hindus. Miracles are meant to be a daily occurrence, wouldn’t you think!?!?!

+++++

Are you or your group interested in experiencing the Music of the Plants? Message me. I enjoy bringing this extraordinary music to human ears. I invite folks to bring their own plants, so that you can hear for yourself what your plant is singing to you daily.

Much love,

Carol

2019-04-03 Lent 4 Wednesday- Meditating

White Clouds Photo by Stacy Marie on Unsplash

A month or two ago, I signed on to a new website that focuses on different types of meditation and focused prayer. Since then, almost daily, I receive a reminder to begin my meditation practice. This has given me a lot to think about. I started my meditation practice over 50 years ago and so I’m wondering if it is time for me to start really meditating.

Today’s a beautiful sunshiny day. There are a few white clouds dotting the sky. They simply hover, as if to be watching my speed as I cruise at 70mph to Erie Monastery for the day. I wonder, is this how they meditate, find their center, practice non-thinking? Simply by being what they are meant to be. Transient, impermanent, beautiful, a reminder of things other. I project my eyes in to them so that I can feel them watching me. I don’t want to believe they don’t know I exist. Maybe they do?

Tree Photo by Quentin Rey on Unsplash

I watch the trees as they begin to come out of winter slumber. It always has surprised me how something that could look so dead is so full of life. Today, there is the reminder flashing across my phone while I’m driving. I look at the trees differently. I wondered how they are meditating.

Maybe it really is as simple as being what they were created and intended to be. They stand there, never taking a step, singing only the wind’s song for us to hear, always with their arms extended up and out. Once again I project my dream on to them and understand them to be praising. Aren’t they?

Vulture Photo by Michael Baird on Unsplash

So many vultures fill the sky. Riding on strong wind currents, appearing to float, with no effort. Now and then, rising up, shooting down, leveling off, never hesitating. Are they meditating? Is it a mindful meditation? Instead, of walking like I do, they fly like they do. Once again I project, thinking how cool it would be to meditate on the wing?
Maybe I can. Maybe I do. Maybe I am.

If all that is required is that I be me. Maybe?

How about you? How is your meditation, deep reflection showing up today? Are you relying on me, projecting into my words? Are you simply being you? How Wonderful is that!

Much love,
Carol

2019-04-01 Lent 4 Monday- Don’t Hang Up!

I bought a new shirt that announces on the front: Reality Called. So, I Hung Up!

My comfort level does not allow me to wear the shirt. I thought it would be funny. Something to joke about when working out at the Gym. I’m always on the lookout for black tees that are suitable for exercise classes and weight lifting. I have worn the shirt once. I simply cannot put it on again.

I have told myself that I take things too seriously. Just wear the shirt.

No, I can’t, because I now understand my discomfort. It is a lie for me. I love my reality. I realize the Reality of my life is the Spirit in whom I find my home. The ups and downs, the ins and outs, the straights and circles, the diversity of people that keep life exciting and, yes, challenging. What a magnificent Reality.

If everything was picture perfect, I would be tremendously bored. I love interacting with minds that force me to stretch and grow.
I believe that each of us has a major influence on our personal Reality.

For me, it is about the relationship that I nurture and foster with Divinity, the Deep Mystery, the Presence. It is about how I become more and more like that with which I am in relationship. This is not a new or unique thought. Ever notice how people who have been together for a length of time, become more and more like each other. They begin to unconsciously imitate mannerism, speech patterns, even likes and dislikes can be influenced. Sometimes they begin to look like one another!!!
If I choose to live in negativity and anger - it is those like-minded that I will draw to myself. If I am surrounded by negativity and anger, my life is uncomfortable and I will keep this unhealthy cycle going, UNTIL, my awareness wiggles and making a conscious choice. I choose to change my heart, open my embrace, trust where I hesitate to trust, accept and include, where I would rather solo.

I have changed my life and my experience of each and every moment of my life. I will continue to have ups and downs, ins and outs, straights and circles, the diversity of people that keep life exciting and, yes, challenging. What is different is ME! and the world is a better place to live in. I become more richly a gift for others who are on their way to wiggling awareness; AND a gift to myself!
ooops! I slid. I let a negative moment creep through my being. Stand up, shake it off, look in the mirror, forgive me and love me and my wiggling awareness shines!

++++
Do you love your Reality?
What would you like to enhance or expand?
What would you like to let go of?

"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality."

--- Ayn Rand

2019-03-31 Lent 4 Sunday: Still Point

-from T. S. Eliot
"At the still point of the turning world.
Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement.
And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered.
Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline.
Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only dance.
I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where.
And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time."

On Saturday, March 30th, I participated and team-led our monthly Still Point contemplative sitting retreat day at Mount Saint Benedict’s Monastery in Erie, PA.

It was a powerful experience, as it always is. A full day of silence: such a rare gift in our noise polluted environment. We are blessed to sit on the shore of Lake Erie. We can look through the window and see the water moving, always changing, never the same.

I attend and team-lead monthly. It is a critical element of my spiritual practice.

This time, something happened that has not occurred before.

The goal is to go behind the thinking mind to non-thinking. I don’t know about other people’s success with this, all I know is the more I attempt to non-think, the more I think about how to non-think.
Any tips out there?

The form we practice is a time of silent sitting followed by a silent walk followed by silent sitting.

This is what was different for me today:

When we stood to walk, following a clockwise circuitous path around the center, I found myself holding my hands in front of my solar plexus in a cupped position, as if holding something important. At that moment I had a flash back to the Ecumenical Theological Seminary in Detroit where I directed the Doctor of Ministry Program for several years. One of our students did a project with his congregation that he was sharing with the class on a cold blustery January winter night.

In the basketball court on the third floor, he had set out a 50 foot Chartres Labyrinth, which his church community painted on canvas. It filled a large portion of the gym floor and was circled with 113 candles lit for each of the 114 lunar days of the year. One would be at the entrance, therefore only 113 candles are seen.

A Native American, Episcopal Priest, class mate, arrived with her husband. When she entered the sacred space, she began to sob as the energy of the sacred circle struck her. Not expecting what she saw, she cried out, “It’s the Wheel!” The Wheel is a sacred symbol to many Native peoples. In the Native tradition it is called a Medicine Wheel.

She entered the Wheel/Labyrinth in stockinged feet, tears streaming and holding something in her hands that I couldn’t see.
She took deliberate slow steps as she lived her own trail of tears. It was a meditation, a sacred gift to watch her walk and pray.

Today, I found my hands cupped and holding something of extravagant importance, that I could not see, could not behold with vision. I knew I carried IT. I could feel IT in every fiber of my being. I remembered a January night, a tear- soaked face, a sacred walk.

===
At the close of our day of prayer together, we shared a passage from Saint John of the Cross. Each of the seven stanzas holds its own bewilderment. Here is the third stanza that most identifies my experience today,

I was so overwhelmed
So absorbed and withdrawn,
That my senses were left
Deprived of all their sensing,
And, my spirit was given
An understanding while not
understanding,
transcending all knowledge.

Stanzas Concerning an Ecstasy Experienced in High Contemplation
Saint John of the Cross

And the final stanza, where John sums up:

And if you should want to hear:
This highest knowledge lies
In the loftiest sense
Of the essence of God;
This is a work of God’s mercy,
To leave one without understanding,
Transcending all knowledge.

What I appreciate about John of the Cross is knowing he had these deep experiences. Experiences that come with consistent practice that words failed.
====

What I know about myself: I need to be more consistent in my practice of the Presence of God. If I want to pursue this Non-thinking way of being and come to an understanding without understanding, then it seems to me that there is a very different way of being that I have not yet experienced.
Any of you had any experiences that might help enlighten myself and others?

I continue to reverently hold, to ponder the extravagant treasure that is suspended in my cupped hands.
Evelyn, what were YOU carrying?

2019-03-30 Lent 3 Saturday: DUMBO EARS

The children’s Spring Break is quickly coming to an end.

Yesterday I went with them to see Disney’s DUMBO. I had a flash back to my Mom, during the final months we shared. Here’s the story:

Mom was always spry. Frank and I called her the Energizer Bunny. When we would go to the grocery store with Mom, we would stand still and watch her push the cart zipping in and out through the aisles until she found everything that she wanted. In no way did we want to attempt keeping up with her.

As the COPD worsened and her breathing became more and more labored, she was put on oxygen. She had a small portable unit that she could pull, rolling behind her. The Energizer Bunny was slowing down.

Mom had always been fiercely independent and these new limitations were becoming too large to deny. They were upsetting and depressing.

She didn’t have to use the oxygen all the time, however, the doctor wanted her to have it on at night when she slept.

Every night she would expect me to come into her room to check on her and “tuck” her in, with a good night kiss. She was very aware of these moments of role reversal. At night, especially, she became very beautifully child-like. Once, she looked up at me, "Who's the Mother ?" I really didn't know if she was asking a question or if she was making an observation of the reality.

It was very difficult for her to get the oxygen tubing situated correctly. Even I had to figure it out every time I helped her. It was like a Labyrinthian course of tubing. The breathing tube went from her nostrils around each ear and tightened under her chin.

When Mom would attempt it by herself, it always was wound around her neck like a noose. Not a safe way to sleep.

I knew this was difficult for her, not only physically- to get the oxygen in place, but also psychologically and emotionally. It was a constant reminder of her advancing limitations and the terminal nature of her life situation.

I needed to find a way to lighten and find joy in these moments of truth. Mom was a beautiful woman in every way. The family always teased that she had a “ski-jump” nose. She would simply smile and not say anything. On these difficult nights, I placed the tubing near her nostrils and wrapped it around each ear, saying, “Look at these Dumbo ears! It’s easy to wrap around these Dumbo ears!” She would grin like a young one and forget for a brief moment the reality of the situation.

What I wouldn’t give for one more night, to wrap the oxygen tubing around those “Dumbo” ears.

Is there someone you have cared for? What ways have you found to make the life that person is living more enjoyable? What have you done for yourself, to make your work of caring more bearable? Or was/is your love so big that your caring is joy saturated?

I ask myself, Who will be taking care of me? Will I be as gracious and wide eyed as my Mom? What can I do to make it easier for those who care for me? I don't have children, who will it be?

Do you ever wonder?

Much love to you all,
Carol Vaccariello

2019-03-29 Lent 3 Friday: "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains un-awakened." anonymous

"Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains un-awakened." -anonymous

I had a little dog named DancyGirl, because she loved to stand on her back legs and dance. She became very ill, made the trip with us to California when we relocated, and then died.

Frank and I were heartbroken. We were sitting in our new apartment with NO furniture, NO clothes in the closets, NO dishes to eat from, NO NOTHING, because the truck hadn’t arrived yet.

Frank was depressed, he didn’t want to get out of bed. I suggested that we go to the pound to get another little dog. He said, “NO”. It was too hard for him to love them and lose them.

I told him that I needed to have another dog, so I called the pound in Berkeley to get directions. We arrived and the woman asked if we owned or rented. I told her we were just moving in and we were renting. She said that renters were required to have a note from the landlord that a dog was permitted on the premises.
I knew that our landlords were in South America and wouldn’t be home for a long time. I didn’t even want to look at the adoptable dogs unless we could take one home with us.
We left.

We went to Home Depot to pick up the hardware to hang curtains. I said to Frank, “I can feel that our little dog is out there waiting for us.” I went to the front of the store where there was a payphone - this was before we had a cell phone. I called the Oakland Pound and shared our story of being new in the area and our dog’s untimely death.

The woman asked what kind of dog we were looking for. I described DancyGirl, and explained that it didn’t have to be exactly the same - just a small dog that enjoyed being held and walked. She said, “Lady, your little dog just got here. We haven’t even given him a bath yet. He will be ready when you arrive. We close soon, so come right away.” I asked if there was anything that we needed to bring. No, just come with a current driver’s license. I explained that it was issued by Texas, and it was current. She said that would be fine.

Frank and I got into our van and rushed to find the Oakland Pound before it closed. On the way there I thought about how to answer their questions.

We parked and hurried out of the car. Before we even got inside the door. An attendant came out with a small white curly Maltese. He walked like he was a very big powerful dog. Head high and an attitude. The woman handed the bright blue leash to Frank and off they went.

I stayed. I was given a form to complete. There was that question: Do you own or rent? I thought for a moment. I don’t lie. I thought again. I still own our home in Texas. The question doesn’t specify where I need to own a home. Yes! I own a home. Immediately, they processed the paperwork and off we went with our precious bundle.

It was love at first sight. I wanted to name him PACO. Frank continued to call him Dancy. DancyGirl was the little dog that died. Finally, I gave in and he became DancyBoy. He and Frank were best buddies, keeping each other company and well loved, especially when I was gone to work.

Recently I received this quote in a page of sayings: “Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains un-awakened.”

I miss my DancyBoy. There are so many stories I could share, each with a life message.

Do you have a dog or a pet that you love? Do you ever wonder if you selected them or if they selected you? Have you ever lost a well-loved pet. Did you ever have to use an un-truth, that wasn’t exactly a lie, because you needed a desired outcome?
What did that pet mean to you? How has your life been different because of the love you shared? Did you learn anything because of that relationship?

I remember when we first brought Dancy home. We were learning each others’ signals. He was very impatient with us. Dancy would come and stand in front of us as we sat on the couch. He would look straight at us, lift his leg and pee as if to scold us for not taking him out when he expected to go out. It didn’t take him long to train us!

Well trained,
Carol

2019-03-28 Lent 3 Thursday: Cutting Some Slack

Today I am out of town for the day - getting my taxes prepared. I really would rather not write reflections from prison, although Paul did some pretty good "stuff" from prison. This is one aspect of his life that I chose not to emulate.

I decided not to stay up past midnight to prepare a reflection.

Thanks for all of your encouraging feedback. My plan is to have something for you on Friday, unless, I don't!

I am modeling how to cut yourself some slack!

Take a walk in your Divine self today,

Be a Blessing!

Carol

2019-03-27 Lent 3 Wed.: A Lesson Learned by Watching

Thank you, Michael Joseph ,for sharing the incredible Majestic Mutation video below.

As I watch it and study the colors, the power, the definition and path of each drop of water that knows exactly what it is to do and be at every moment, I can't help but wonder why it is so difficult for me, an intelligent being to know God's desire for me.

At this moment, I feel like the Psalmist must have felt when witnessing the wonders of creation. In so much awe, it is difficult to find words. Creation knows how to sing without words and pray without concept. Simply BEING is what is required. Gosh it is all so simple and so incredibly difficult.

Today, dear Mystery, send your Angels, please, to enlighten my mind so that I can think clearly and get these tedious taxes completed. Perhaps if I listen to my own reflection, I can find a way to allow this tedious task to be my prayer today, when all I want to do is create music and walk in the beautiful sunshine after such a long winter.

Yes, dear Mystery, I need some very focused Angelic help today and I ain't kidding.

Blessed Be and Thanks ,
Carol

2019-03-26 Lent 3 Tuesday: Having a Human Experience!

What a wonderful thing: to live a life in which the good memories outweigh the difficult ones. Because I am generally a happy person, people often assume that I don’t struggle, or ever have hurtful, difficult, grief-stricken times. Of course, I do. These are part of my human experience. 

What does that mean: to have a Human experience?

I had a Native American teacher who used to tell me, “You white people don’t get it. You are not a person seeking or having a spiritual experience. You are a Spirit having a Human experience.”

What I learned from her and from my Christian roots, and I believe other of the world religions teach something similar, is that I was first an idea in the heart of God. First, I was a spirit being, created in eternal thought, and that it is my blessing and privilege to have this human experience.

Psalm 139:13-14 tells us,
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

I interpret this to mean that God had the idea of me, of you, our inmost being. Your Soul, My Soul from all time. Selected parents, for each of us. Finished creating us by knitting our individual Souls in our mothers’ wombs, so that our human bodies and personalities could develop over the time of our life span. From Pre-birth to Death, a Spirit, a Soul having a Human experience.

I also think that not all spirits are privileged to have this human experience. Those of us who are here, knowing the beauty of Earth, the reality of a physical body, emotions, enjoying food, and on and on, the myriad of human privileges. We are blessed to be here.

I want to experience all that I can. I want to remember all that I experience. I give thanks every day for this rare privilege of being human.

It has taken me a lifetime to learn that every painful moment, every sorrow; physical, emotional, spiritual, has been essential, to my becoming who I am today.

Life is a mix of highs and lows, joys and challenges. There was a time when I couldn’t say this. I am extremely grateful for every experience and I appreciate the struggles that have made me strong. These struggles are what have opened my heart in a way that I can now help others who are facing similar struggles. Every tough time has been my Teacher, with a capital “T”.

I have shared some of my deep thoughts here. What are you thinking? Any connection for you? What has been your most difficult challenge? Do you continue to carry anger and hurt? Have you found the lesson and the blessing of that lesson? You know that person you find so trying? Could be a family member, someone at work, school, church. Have you ever asked yourself what you are meant to learn from his or her presence in your life? Maybe if you pay attention and learn the lesson, you won’t have to continue to experience it over and over. That’s what I try to do. Stay alert and learn the lesson before I have to experience it the third, fourth, fifth time.

Always so much to think about.

My prayer for you today: Live into and rejoice in the joy that is yours to live. Whatever difficulty you may encounter, learn the lesson quickly and move on with open heart to the nearest joy awaiting you.

Strive to be a blessing!

Carol

2019-03-24 Lent 3 Sunday: Mystery at Seventy Three

Seventy-three is a strange age. I don’t feel at all over 50 - maybe even younger. Now and then, I may stand up a little more slowly than usual from a cross legged sitting prayer position on the floor.
Actually, there’s not much that slows me down.
Think positively.
Visualize good health and vitality.
Work out at the Medina County Recreation Center,
Monday through Friday,
averaging three hours a morning before going home to work.

Today was a very full day.
When I got up this morning
- after forgetting to set the alarm.
Missed one hour of my workout.
Spent over an hour in the pool.
One-hour Yoga.
Breakfast with a friend
who introduced me to someone with similar interests.
Prepared the house
HeartSpace Spiritual Community’s Gathering on Sunday.
Participated in a one-hour International Call.
Scurried to the Office on Aging
Ukrainian Easter Egg painting with Judy Totts.
Picked up my suitcase and computer.
Drove nearly three hours
Benedictine Monastery in Erie, Pennsylvania.
Met with my Wood Turning teacher.
Arranged for a session with our Wood Turning Mentor tomorrow.
+++
It was great fun learning to “write” a Ukrainian Easter Egg. Something I have wanted to do for a long time. That’s one thing about being 73, I am mindful that I am in the last leg of the journey. That means, if there are things I want to do and haven’t done, I’d better step on it and get them done. Today I “wrote” a Ukrainian Easter Egg. There are pictures of it here.

Art is very prayer-full. I call it Heart- Art. At the University for Creation Spirituality we called it Art as Meditation and every one of our Doctoral students were required to take an Art as Meditation class each time they came to study for a week-long seminar.

This is how it works for me. When I begin to focus on the art project, out of necessity, I push other intrusive thoughts out of my mind. This is not done by force. It is simply the outcome of focusing on the project at hand. Today Judy was teaching the art of Ukrainian Easter Egg Art. We were all beginners. Judy started very simply to teach the technique and produce a worthwhile outcome.
Each of us received an egg hollow shell that Judy had drawn some simple designs for us to follow.

Here is the magic of this meditative process.
The “writing” is done very carefully with a tool called a KISTKA. It is a piece of wood about the size of a pencil. On one end there is a very small funnel shape into which I put black beeswax. When heated over a small candle flame, the wax, having a low melting point, liquifies and runs out of the tiny funnel as I place it to the egg’s surface.

Sometimes the wax sticks and blocks the funnel. In that case I use a very thin wire on a stick to clean the funnel.

The method is very simple. Whatever I want to stay the color of the eggshell, I cover with the black wax. Then I dip into my lightest color. Always working from lightest to darkest color. Once it is the desired intensity, I remove the egg and wipe it. I continue to do this, each time visualizing what I want to remain the newest color, that’s what has wax put on it.

The Magic happens at the end of the process. When I have completed my wax writings, I gently move the egg across the small candle flame and wipe the melted black wax away with a soft cloth. Just like magic, all of the concealed color beneath the black wax shines through as the wax is removed.

My heart was so full when I saw that little bunny, symbol of Easter joy, love, fun, soft, bouncy, food scavenger after dark under the bird feeder. The vine that goes full circle around the egg from point to point is the Eternal Life line. The small flowering vine, so very delicate.

There are so many applications that can be taken from this experience.
Black Wax: the darkness that conceals my mystery and reveals my wonder.
The Rich Colors: gifts and talents, hidden just beneath my surface
A Hollow Egg: When I feel like just a shell of a person, it is time to move through the mysterious layers of my Being, to find the meaning of eternity now.
Magic: the way I experience the Divine, The Greatest Magician of All, in whose image I am intricately patterned.

How about you? I invite you to take a moment to reflect. What is hiding just beneath your surface? What are your rich colors, yearning to be seen? When have you most felt like a hollow egg? how did you manage that feeling? Would you do anything different? If so, what?

Thanks for being there and thanks for being here.
Much love as we continue this journey together.

Carol Vaccariello

2019-03-23 Lent 2 Saturday When I Do My Best....

Kalahari Convention Center in Sandusky, Ohio was the location of the Gymnastic Competition where my Great Nephews competed. They are ten years old - twins.
Gymnastics is a team sport that is focused on individual performance. It’s different from team sports where everyone on the team is on the field working together to score. Here it is you and you alone. All eyes on you as you approach that next in a series of highly skilled exacting moves. I like to watch how the coaches care for these young athletes. They lift them to the bar or the rings - there is no other way to get up there. When I am in pain watching the way they twist and turn their shoulders, I am always grateful for a coaches hand to ease the completion of the move so that the athlete can gracefully reach the ground.

I love to watch Brian flying through the air when he picks up momentum on the rings. Anthony is much taller than Brian and he lifts himself, long legs soaring over the parallel bars for a perfect landing.

Team work that depends on one’s individual skill is a priceless lesson. When I do my best we all win. It is not about me being better than you. It is about both of us doing our best so that our team scores well.

Great practice for a life well lived. All that can be expected of anyone is the best that they can be. Being our best is what we offer to ourselves, our families, friends and our world.

Both boys came home with their necks weighed down in medals of achievement. I am a very proud great aunt. Maybe that is really the lesson here. Isabelle, their 14-year-old sister, Vinnie their 13-year-old brother, mom, dad, and aunt Carol stay with them for hours witnessing them as they compete with themselves and their last score. We cheer them on, and they make us proud - no matter how well they score. Simply having the courage to get out there and do any of these maneuvers is enough for me to praise them for their success - because it is.

Come fly with me.
It is lonely to fly alone.
Come fly with me.
Feel the wind beneath my wings.
Come fly with me, please.

2019-03-22 Lent 2 Friday Bring Him Home from Les Misérables

For years, Mom and I were Cleveland Playhouse subscribers. It was one way I could get mom to go out and enjoy herself. Subscribers pay for tickets before the season began. There was no way she would pay for something and then let it go to waste. So, every time our scheduled evening rolled around, Mom had a reason to get dressed up and go out.
Mom loved to eat out. We would find a restaurant near Cleveland Playhouse, have a nice dinner and take in a musical at the Theatre.

I have continued to subscribe for nearly the same reason I encouraged Mom to subscribe. Having a paid theatre ticket plus parking ticket is indeed an investment in having fun. Truly it forces me to stop working and drive to Cleveland for a night out.

Miserables, was one of the musicals this season. It was the first time I experienced it. Bring Him Home was one of the songs that blew me away. It was the way Nick Cartrell performed it. He was so powerful with pure tones, fragile strength of sustained notes, ease in the range of sound. All of this created such an amazing soundscape one could literally hear a pin drop in that large theatre. The applause actually took pause, before it when wild.

It is a man’s song, because of the context of the story.
I love it so much. I feel it deeply in my soul.
I am learning to sing it

It is a prayer begging safe return of a young man who has gone to war.

Take a look at the lyrics:

Bring Him Home

God on high, hear my prayer
In my need, you have always been there
He is young, he's afraid
Let him rest, heaven-blessed

Bring him home. Bring him home. Bring him home

He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son
The summers die, one by one
How soon they fly, on and on
And I am old and will be gone.

Bring him peace, bring him joy
He is young, he is only a boy
You can take, you can give
Let him be, let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live

Bring him home. Bring him home. Bring him home++++

The lyrics are truly a prayer that many of us have prayed. Hearing the lyrics SUNG - is an absolutely different experience from reading the words. I invite you to take three minutes to listen to Nick Cartrell sing, click on this URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL0rRWffiSs

Hopefully you have listened.

Like me, did you find yourself in deep prayer as he prayed the song?
Is there someone that you feel strongly about and want to reach out to with prayer?
Listen to the song again with your eyes closed.
You can change the words to meet your personal need.
I think of all the young boys we send off to fight;
of the families who cry this prayer in their hearts.
I think of all the young people who are dealing with opioids
in an attempt to escape life.
I think of all the young people who don’t know
how special and unique they are and
the tremendous gifts they have for themselves and for our world.
Who knows - one of them may become the surgeon that saves my life or the President who protects our Mother Earth, so that our grandchildren will have a sustainable future….yet that same young person could find the challenge more difficult than s/he can bear.
What to do?

Listen to this song.
Sing this song in your heart.
Feel what you feel.
Pray it when you need it.
Trust it when you pray it.
Know that you are never alone
…and most importantly,
a young person, an old person, someone may be counting on you to pray this prayer for them.
a prayer for Life….
Do it! Please.

Counting on you,
Carol

2019-03-21 Lent2 Thursday. Bandsaw! Formidable Teacher

As most of you know, I am learning the skills of wood working. Sometimes our teachers are sharp and serrated - like the bandsaw. It has been over a week now since I learned a new respect for this tool. Two of my workout buddies have informed me that bandsaws and used for cutting meat. I know that in a whole new way now. I am having some difficulty typing this with the fourth finger of my right hand in a bandage to hold my finger straight. I am trying not to bend it. Every time I do the wound reopens. I decided NOT to post the pictures. I leave it to your imagination! I have posted a couple of pictures of the bandsaw. When I look at the blades, I realize it is very similar to meeting JAWS!

Here is what I have learned, and I know there is more to come.
1. respect the saw. let it do the work. Don’t push!
2. always have a buddy or a telephone in case of emergency
3. get instruction before using equipment that is new to me
4. Be sure to ask for the safety instructions to be repeated at least once
5. Take my mentor seriously
6. ..don’t be thinking about all the other ways that I could do it easier
7. I’m sure there are more

Interesting, as I looked over these learnings how they apply to so many aspects of my life
1. Respect the person, the instrument with whom I am to work. Allow the other space to work and have a voice. Don’t Push!
2. Be wise and bring in an arbitrator if needed. See the help I or We need in order to move forward in a good way.
3. Take time to get to know the person I will be working with. Listen to their story. Bite my tongue when I can think of so many things to tell them about me and my experience.
4. Listen to all the communication about safe ways to work together. Listen between the lines. Watch the eyes. Where is the comfort place and the strength and how to bring that forward together and for each other.
5. When discerning an important situation, seek a wise person for advice. I think three wise people, one at a time. Bring each of their wisdom into my heart and discern the best move forward.
6. Don’t be a know it all. Allow myself to learn from all involved.
7. More????

It’s your turn.
I invite you to ponder and think through - what would you add or change or affirm? Write me a note. I love to hear from you.

One of the Wounded Healers,
Carol

2019-03-20 Lent2 Wednesday. An Unlikely Messenger Part 3 - Conclusion

An Unlikely Messenger Part 3 - Conclusion...

Yes, I missed posting yesterday.
This is the end of the story. In order to fully understand this piece, I recommend you go back and read the two Reflections that precede this one.

After the intense discernment process to simply say yes to an on-site interview with the search committee, my husband, Frank and I arrived in El Paso, Texas.

I was taken to the church to meet with the search committee and Frank was taken “away” with one of the members to pick up some things at the grocery store. All I heard about was the ice cream cones they had while on their adventure. Remember, this is El Paso, where the sun is fierce. They had to stand in the grocery store and eat their ice cream or they would have been wearing it.

The Committee and I met in one of the very well-kept beautiful rooms of the church. I wasn’t certain that I wanted this pastorate. I decided that I would be completely honest about what kind of a pastor I was. I thought if I was completely honest, they wouldn’t call me. I wasn’t sure we would be a good match. My thinking was influenced by the location of the church. I believed that the folks here would be in a much different place theologically and philosophically than I was because of the influences of the cultures that nurtured us.

I told them about Drumming Circles, Native American Earth Based philosophies, Creation Spirituality, and on and on. Every time I thought I was sharing something that they would see as a red flag one of the women would say, YES! - kind of like a cha-ching! if you know what I mean. I was sinking fast. I could see that they were interested and nothing like I dreamed they might be as a church family.

One of the men, Bill Houston, who later became my husband’s best friend, asked me about my musical background. They each had a copy of my Profile and he was referencing it. I affirmed that I was a musician. My first degree was in music. He told me a little about the very talented musicians that the church was blessed to have. Young people from the nearby University. That sounded very good to me.

Then he asked me to do something that I never expected.
He said, “You have a Catholic background and you are a musician.
Could you sing the Ave Maria for us?”

I was a bit stunned.
I could feel the others watching and waiting to see my reaction to this strange request.

He said, “There is a piano in the next room if you need it.”

I said, “No. I would like to sing the Gregorian Chant setting of the Ave Maria. That is best done without the piano.”
I sang.
It is a beautiful chant.
There was deep silence.
The deed was done.
I was offered the position
and every year after that, on Mother’s Day,
I was asked to sing the Ave Maria.

What I learned:
Don’t prejudge. Don’t determine how something will be.
Confront the uncomfortable and find the blessing.
What are you keeping yourself from experiencing because you think you already know the outcome? Are you afraid to take action because you might be hurt? How will you know, if you don’t step into the moment instead of dancing around it?

I have struggled with my “split mind” for years. My Catholic Mind and my Protestant Mind. I can’t help but be formed from my Catholic upbringing and my years in the Convent. What I have learned is that the combination brings a depth and a richness to my work with all kinds of people. But I must say that I truly didn’t expect to ever be asked to sing the Ave Maria during an interview. And never thought that would become a “tradition” for Mother’s Day. This was a Protestant Church - and from the short years of experience I had with Protestantism I knew that Mary was not a focus of their spirituality. Inwardly I rejoiced. I love Mary.

What about you? What is your struggle? What splits your mind and causes you confusion and the tendency to stand back instead of dive in? Is there something you love that you are afraid you might lose?

These years taught me a lot about showing up in the truth of who I am. All of the Full Moon meditations on the ROOF of the Church! The collaboration with the nearby Unity Church to build the Labyrinth on the front lawn of the church.
What truth are you hiding that needs to sparkle and show itself? What is the collaboration that will strengthen your resolve to show up in your fullness?

Lots of questions and soul searching today.
Take some time. Do some thinking. I’d like to hear from you.
Let me know how things are going for you.

Be well,
Till next time,
Carol

2019-03-18 Lent2 Monday. An Unlikely Messenger continued

An Unlikely Messenger continued...

Every day I was sure to plan time to pray at the Medicine Wheel. Every day I was visited by the Crow Messengers. Every day I brought them corn or bread. You know, Crows are Tricksters. I think they were holding out for the free food!

I loved to sit at the Prayer Wheel. They sat in a nearby tree and we listen to each other. I knew that soon my vigil would be fulfilled. I just didn’t have a clue what that fulfillment would look like.

I wasn’t very excited about the call I received from the Church in Texas. I never shared this with them, so any of my beloved friends from Texas, please read and hear this as it is intended.

When I received the call, I became intensely concerned. I had a friend, woman clergy person, who had taken a call in Texas and had become ill from the stress of the situation and died. I knew that I might be walking into an extremely conservative situation that would not be good for my Soul. I didn’t even want to consider this call. I did nothing to encourage it.

If I am recalling correctly, we had a meeting over the phone to get to know one another to see if it was worth the investment to fly me there for a trial sermon and visit with the search committee. I heard from them and they would let me know if they wanted me to come. I was in a panic. I didn’t want to go to Texas, but this was against everything I stood for. I always listened to Spirit and say ‘yes’ until the Spirit says ‘no.’

I called my Native American Teacher, Ojibwe, who was also a Disciple of Christ Clergywoman. I shared my concern. She said she thought I was correct and shouldn’t go.

I continued to sit with Crow at the Prayer Wheel. I knew I would have to make a decision soon. The more I prayed about it, the more I sat with the Crows, the stronger the call felt. I was feeling desperately torn.

I called my Teacher again. She said that she was having second thoughts about this. Then she invited me to “journey” to Texas and see what the Spirits of the place had to say to me.

At first, I thought she was talking about the two of us taking a trip there, but that seemed highly unlikely since she was wheel chair bound and lived in the wilderness of Wisconsin across from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Then she explained that she wanted me to make the ‘journey’ right then. I told her, I didn’t understand what she was expecting. Julie explained that I should allow my Spirit to make the ‘journey’ to El Paso - right now - and talk to the Spirits of the place to get a sense of the situation.

I was willing to give this a try but feeling unsteady about doing something this out of the ordinary that I had never done. Julie assured me, she would ‘travel’ with me and all would be well. I agreed.

She guided me into a meditative state, we began the ‘journey’. I was amazed at the ease, the lightness of the travel. Not always sure about what I was intuitively picking up and staying open to how the Holy Spirit was directing this incredible adventure into expanded consciousness. After a period of time. Actually I don't know how long because there is no sense of time with "traveling."

When we both ‘returned’ we shared our experiences. Julie asked me to share first. I know she was interested in knowing if I had been successful in this quest. I told her I was feeling a lot better about the thought of entertaining a call to Texas. It felt safe enough.

I did pick up something that I didn’t understand. A feeling of struggle in the land, not necessarily the church, but the land.

Julie explained the history of El Paso - the Spaniards invasion, the slaughter of Indigenous peoples there. She explained there was still a lot of pain in that blood-stained soil of the massacred. She was certain that’s what I was feeling. Then she said that in her ‘journey’ this time, she was sure that I should agree to go meet the committee and the people. It felt very safe.

Trusting the “journey” the Spirits and Julie, I accepted the invitation to visit and to trial preach.

What is your struggle?
What is your question?
What journey is required for you to know what Spirit is calling you to do and to be?
This is your life. Be sure not to miss it!

This Reflection has at least one more segment, tomorrow.
All is well,
Carol

2019-03-16 Lent Saturday. An Unlikely Messenger

I don’t concern myself much with time. Years fly by and sometimes a day feels like a year. My best guess is 25 to 30 years ago, I was pastor of North Oakland Christian Church in North Oakland, Michigan just north of Detroit. Speaking of time, I will miss at least one reflection this weekend. For certain, there will be a Reflection for you on Monday morning. The continuation of this one.

Our home was on beautiful Buckhorn Lake, a couple of miles from the church.
The phone rang. It was my secretary who was working in her office at the church. She sounded concerned, actually afraid. I listened, Mary Ann said:

There is a strange knocking sound coming from somewhere
near the back of the church. I have gone back and looked
around and can’t find anything. There is no one else in the
building with me, or at least, I don’t think there is.
I have the doors locked. Every once in a while, I hear it.
I go check, but I can’t find anything. Now, I am getting scared.

Knowing that Mary Ann has never before called or felt fearful, I knew it was important that I get over there right away. “Coming,” I said, “Be there in a couple of minutes.”

When I arrived, there was only Mary Ann’s car in the parking lot. I didn’t see anyone else around. I went inside to see how she was doing. Once again, she told me the same information as she had on the phone.

While we were talking, she paused. “Listen. Do you hear it?”

I was quiet and listened. Yes, I heard it. A very distinct knocking sound, as if someone was knocking at the side door in the rear of the church. We both walked back, listening carefully as we went. Passing by the large classrooms, we poked our heads into each to see where the sound might be coming from. Only tables and chairs in each of the rooms. The knocking, tapping sound was intermittent, and it continued sporadically but insistently.

When we got to the last classroom, it seemed the loudest. I walked in slowly. scanning the area in hopes of locating the source of this strange sound. The classrooms had long narrow windows that went all the way to the ground. My eyes followed the length of the last window to the ground.

There it was. I huge black bird, A Crow - almost looked like a Raven it was so large, but it was a Crow. And No, it wasn’t pecking at the window as one might think. I was using it’s left wing to strike the window repeatedly. The boney bent part of the wing - what I think of as the shoulder. It was intently looking into the glass and banging on the pane.

I was concerned that the Crow would hurt itself. After all, it had been doing this on and off for hours now. Mary Ann confirmed that that was the sound she had been hearing throughout the day. I carefully went out of the classroom to the side back door and opened it gently. Sticking my head out, I said to the insistent Crow, who, by the way, in some traditions is known to be Creator’s Messenger Bird, kind of like some think about Archangel Gabriel as a Messenger Angel.

“Crow, thank you for coming. You have my attention. Have you come with a message? Please stop banging on the window. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I will listen to your message.”

The Crow looked up at me, stopped banging on the window, and flew to the top of the church. I found some food to put outside that window to offer as my gift of gratitude for this special visit.

I made a commitment to listen and to pay attention to the message that Crow was bringing. The next day when I arrived at the church, I noticed on the steel beamed Cross that stood high at the front of the building, there were two large Crows waiting for me.

I walked to the same side of the building where Crow first announced its visit. In that area, the church had a Medicine Wheel, a place of Prayer, constructed of Stone on the ground. I went there to sit and to listen to the message from Crow. I did this for several days. Each day bringing some feed to leave for the Crows. There were at least three now coming for these daily visits. No longer were they banging on the church windows. But they were showing up every day when I sat in prayer to listen at the Wheel.

During this time, we had an event at the church where the public were invited to come to learn from a variety of different spiritual and mystical teachers. While the event was in progress, I was called to the phone. It was a search committee from Texas offering me the opportunity to interview with them for a possible pastorate in El Paso, Texas. I wasn't thinking about leaving North Oakland. I was surprised by this call. I know to take these things seriously, because one never knows when the Holy Spirit is key to the moment.

I didn’t tell anyone about the nature of that call.

There was a group of women who ran a therapeutic heated pool in the area. Doctors referred patients to them for heated water therapy. After hours they would invite spiritually like-minded friends to come for Flotation Meditation. I helped lead this program. It was awesome. People strapped on flotation equipment and then relaxed in the very warm deep water. We used soft music, floated lit candles on the water and I did the heartbeat drumming as people meditated while floating in deep states of consciousness.

This evening one of the women who owned the facility said to me. You know you are leaving us, don’t you? I was so surprised by her comment. I asked what she meant. She said that she was aware that I had been working with the church these past three years to complete the building of the Medicine Wheel. She knew that I only had three more stone people to place in the Medicine Wheel. Since we placed one stone a month, this meant a period of three months- time. She said that when I completed the Wheel, I would be leaving

I had not told anyone about the phone call. How could she know something that I didn’t?

Have a great day, as you LISTEN to the Messengers sent to guide you on your life’s path. Be sure to write down the Messenger and the Message.

The rest of the story will have to wait for the next Reflection.

Deep peace to you,
Carol

2019-03-15 Lent Friday. Finding the Center

I am thrilled to receive so many responses to the Daily Reflection. One thing I have learned in doing this Lenten discipline, I don’t have to worry about running out of things to share. When I first started, I wondered how I could possibly come up with 40 stories that might be worth your while to read. Now I find that you are helping me with this by the responses you share that stir more stories in me.

Cindy Boone Quown responded to my Reflection: Turning, Turning, Turning, which told of my relationship with my Beloved GrandFather Tree. Cindy shared that she has five GrandMother trees. She calls them the Great Sisters and is thinking about putting a Labyrinth in their shade. I promised her that I would write a reflection about my experience with Labyrinths.

When I lived in California, I attended training to become a Labyrinth facilitator at Grace Episcopal Cathedral. This means I know a bit about how to build Labyrinths, some of their history and stories, their importance in spiritual practice. I have had a Medicine Wheel and/or a Labyrinth in my yard and in the church’s yard at every place I have pastored since I can remember. For me, my spirituality lacks something if it isn’t deeply connected to Earth. These tools help to keep me grounded and focused on what is important.

Currently, I have a Medicine Wheel (to be the subject of another reflection) in my back yard. Together with the Medina First Christian Church FCC, HeartSpace Spiritual Community UCC built a very unique Labyrinth Prayer Wheel in their forest. It is a combination of Labyrinth and Medicine Wheel, hence the name. Here’s the story:

I knew the founding pastor of Medina FCC. I knew that on the original plans for the development of the property, there was a place for a Prayer Wheel, a Labyrinth. It is very important to understand that a Labyrinth is NOT a Maze. A Labyrinth is a continuous circuitous path to a center point that represents the Holy. There are no tricks, no dead ends, it is not a game, it is a path that represents the walk that is your life.

HeartSpace’s Dream Circle met with members of Medina FCC Church Board and determined that we would work together to build the Labyrinth as the original blueprints indicated. We agreed to meet on a Sunday after worship service to explore the forest and find the area indicated on the blueprints. It was in a virgin wooded area. There was no path in or out. One of the Board Members from FCC did some exploration before our meeting. He led us back through the dense woods toward the area he believed coincided with the prints.

In our caravan of walkers there were two men, Pastor Laura, with her daughter Lilah from

FCC and three women from HeartSpace UCC, my nephew who is schooled in Earth Spirituality and myself. When we arrived the first thing we noticed was the space. In the midst of the dense trees there was a natural opening. Very little ground cover, some poison ivy, two prominent trees inside the open circle with trees and shrubs all around creating a natural perimeter. This surprised us a bit since the shrub and ground cover growth was dense all around the perimeter of this naturally formed open circle. We began to pray, to thank the Universe and Creator for this beautiful spot. There was a thick silence covering us like a down blanket. Then we asked the trees and the land for permission to build a Prayer Wheel there.

While we were in the midst of the prayer’s solemn silence, Sandy, got my attention and pointed up. At first, I couldn’t understand what she was pointing at, and then I saw it. The day was sunny bright, there was no rain, however, on a high bough of one of the central trees, there were droplets of water forming and dripping slowly, steadily, consistently, obviously.

One by one, each of us watched this unexpected sight. For a time, no one spoke. There was no source from which the water came. We examined the spot where the drops fell and marked the spot with red fabric tied to a stick pushed into the ground where the drops were falling. Then from the depths of our prayer we understood. The Trees were shedding tears of gratitude that we had found this sacred place that they along with Earth Mother had been protecting for many years, awaiting our arrival. Waiting for this day when their sacred place would be lifted up and honored as a place of prayer. We were welcomed with their tears of joy.

Isaiah 55:11-13.
The words I speak are like that.
They will not return to me without producing results.
They will accomplish what I want them to.
They will do exactly what I sent them to do.
12 “My people, you will go out of Babylon with joy.
You will be led out of it in peace.
The mountains and hills
will burst into song as you go.
And all the trees in the fields
will clap their hands.
13 Juniper trees will grow where there used to be bushes that had thorns on them.
And myrtle trees will grow where there used to be thorns.
That will bring me great fame.
It will be a lasting reminder of what I can do.
It will stand forever.”

There is a song that I love to sing called “All the Trees of the Field” which comes directly from this scripture. The words go something like this:

The Trees of the field will clap their hands.
The Trees of the field will clap their hands
The Trees of the field will clap their hands
As we go out with joy!

It is about the joy of creation, as witnessed in the trees, the joy that cannot be prevented or muffled.
Our precious Tree didn’t clap her hands, she wept for joy.

Later my nephew went back to determine the center of the circle so that we might construct the Labyrinth Prayer Wheel, the stick bearing the red flag marked the exact spot where the tree had shed its tears.
It was perfectly marked.
The perfect center!
+++

Have you ever prayed with a tree?
Have you listened to the voice of its heart?
Have you heard the stones cry out?
If not,
why not?
It’s time.

As we go out with joy!
Carol

2019-03-14 Lent Thursday. I didn’t always love being me.

Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your mind.’ This is the first and most important commandment. And the second is like it. ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ Everything that is written in the Law and the Prophets is based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

Important realization: The wisdom of loving yourself before you can make progress of significant changes isn’t just about body image and how much you weigh, it applies to anything you take on or would like to accomplish.

If I told you that there was a day that I was so shy that I couldn’t raise my hand in class to answer a question. Hard to believe, even for me. Now I take what I know about myself, good or not so good and build on what I know. Good - get better. Not so good - try something different. Always striving to make a difference, to live fully. To know the richness that comes with loving my life in its abundance and in its poverty.

I don’t want to be a fake. Others know when they are in the presence of a fake. Communication and bonding have a hard time taking hold among fakes. When I accept and love myself then I have something to offer to another. How does that saying go? Love your neighbor as yourself? Have you heard that? I often wonder how there can be any real love in the world if people walk around not having a clue about what it is like to love themselves.

I think for a lot of us, who have been brought up with a focus on unworthiness and sin as compared to our tremendous worth, uniqueness and our blessedness having been made a little less than the angels, in the image and likeness of God, --that focus, of unworthy and being sin riddled, has been a significant part of our spiritual formation. Sad to say.

Somehow the message has been severely misconstrued. Just refer to this scripture from the mouth of Jesus, the long and short of it: We MUST LOVE OURSELVES FIRST. This is not a BAD THING. It is the way it was meant to be. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Pretty direct, wouldn't you agree. See - can’t get on with the real work of loving others until you figured it out at home, how to love yourself.

Look in the mirror lately? Selfies work very well too!
Are you uncomfortable telling yourself how loved s/he is?
Don’t walk away yet.
Take a good look - right in the eyes - just the way you would with another that you think you love.
Feel the love sent and received from the priceless, precious, person…YOU!

Now you are ready to tell someone else how loved they are. Got it?
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matt 22:37-40

Here are some pictures - selfies -
All about loving me, just as I am!
....and having more of me available to love YOU!