"At the still point of the turning world.
Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement.
And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered.
Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline.
Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only dance.
I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where.
And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time."
On Saturday, March 30th, I participated and team-led our monthly Still Point contemplative sitting retreat day at Mount Saint Benedict’s Monastery in Erie, PA.
It was a powerful experience, as it always is. A full day of silence: such a rare gift in our noise polluted environment. We are blessed to sit on the shore of Lake Erie. We can look through the window and see the water moving, always changing, never the same.
I attend and team-lead monthly. It is a critical element of my spiritual practice.
This time, something happened that has not occurred before.
The goal is to go behind the thinking mind to non-thinking. I don’t know about other people’s success with this, all I know is the more I attempt to non-think, the more I think about how to non-think.
Any tips out there?
The form we practice is a time of silent sitting followed by a silent walk followed by silent sitting.
This is what was different for me today:
When we stood to walk, following a clockwise circuitous path around the center, I found myself holding my hands in front of my solar plexus in a cupped position, as if holding something important. At that moment I had a flash back to the Ecumenical Theological Seminary in Detroit where I directed the Doctor of Ministry Program for several years. One of our students did a project with his congregation that he was sharing with the class on a cold blustery January winter night.
In the basketball court on the third floor, he had set out a 50 foot Chartres Labyrinth, which his church community painted on canvas. It filled a large portion of the gym floor and was circled with 113 candles lit for each of the 114 lunar days of the year. One would be at the entrance, therefore only 113 candles are seen.
A Native American, Episcopal Priest, class mate, arrived with her husband. When she entered the sacred space, she began to sob as the energy of the sacred circle struck her. Not expecting what she saw, she cried out, “It’s the Wheel!” The Wheel is a sacred symbol to many Native peoples. In the Native tradition it is called a Medicine Wheel.
She entered the Wheel/Labyrinth in stockinged feet, tears streaming and holding something in her hands that I couldn’t see.
She took deliberate slow steps as she lived her own trail of tears. It was a meditation, a sacred gift to watch her walk and pray.
Today, I found my hands cupped and holding something of extravagant importance, that I could not see, could not behold with vision. I knew I carried IT. I could feel IT in every fiber of my being. I remembered a January night, a tear- soaked face, a sacred walk.
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At the close of our day of prayer together, we shared a passage from Saint John of the Cross. Each of the seven stanzas holds its own bewilderment. Here is the third stanza that most identifies my experience today,
I was so overwhelmed
So absorbed and withdrawn,
That my senses were left
Deprived of all their sensing,
And, my spirit was given
An understanding while not
understanding,
transcending all knowledge.
Stanzas Concerning an Ecstasy Experienced in High Contemplation
Saint John of the Cross
And the final stanza, where John sums up:
And if you should want to hear:
This highest knowledge lies
In the loftiest sense
Of the essence of God;
This is a work of God’s mercy,
To leave one without understanding,
Transcending all knowledge.
What I appreciate about John of the Cross is knowing he had these deep experiences. Experiences that come with consistent practice that words failed.
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What I know about myself: I need to be more consistent in my practice of the Presence of God. If I want to pursue this Non-thinking way of being and come to an understanding without understanding, then it seems to me that there is a very different way of being that I have not yet experienced.
Any of you had any experiences that might help enlighten myself and others?
I continue to reverently hold, to ponder the extravagant treasure that is suspended in my cupped hands.
Evelyn, what were YOU carrying?
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